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Linda Ellis

Functioning sexually but not letting go?

Updated: Oct 21, 2021


Do you function well sexually but you can’t let go?

Many people function well sexually but they don’t really fully let go. Is it lack of desire, their ibido? Maybe you have sex to keep your partner happy. If this is the case and you want to change, how do you? Well it isn’t a simple answer or a quick fix. Finding what is stopping you and what is creating the dissatisfaction.


How do you get out of your rutt?

If you stick to the same thing it will get boring that is for sure. Routine sex will become dull if you don’t change up the time, place or position! It is very easy to get stuck in a rutt and stick to old ways. It’s easy to blame this all on your partner, but you have to look at yourself as well. A little imagination and a partner who is on board for a little shake up will do it!

You don’t have to do anything crazy either, the change could just be in your attitude and how you approach it.. Your mindset and how you come accross to your partner is everything.

Mixing it up a little

What can you do to mix it up. Well there is no limit. It depends on what fantasies as a couple you decide to carry out. Also you can start with small changes and work yourself up. The fun is in the discovery.

It could be that you just change your attitude and how you approach sex. If you are into it, it’s sexy as hell!

Have you thought about toys, erotic content or audio to get your sensual resupply.


Should you plan pleasure?.

It may sound boring, but you don’t want to be interrupted. There are so many distractions in life, our phones, kids that’s why a little planning can go a long way. We plan for most of the other experiences in our life – eating out, seeing friends, vacations, why would we not plan a little for the sensual side of our life. You could also make the planning fun and it’s an excellent opportunity to communicate with each other.

Planning ahead can heighten the anticipation and it can provide you with some time to think up an erotic menu of sexual variation.

Tips for finally letting go

The simple inability to “let go” and totally enjoy lovemaking is something most of us have not given much thought to. That is because we often do not question our set way of doing things. It does not occur to us that we can change that and do something about it amd teaching yourself to let go!

  • Start communicating

  • Express what you want, what feels good

  • Do not judge and be kind

  • Get in the frame of mind and consciously change your mindset


How do I change?

It won’t happen over night. Uninhibited love making needs to be a shared experience if it is going ot work. Communicate, educate your partner and remember to plan. Change does not happen all at once, but deciding you are going to do it is major step. It can be journey of pleasure.


For those that feel dissatisfied, the process of "letting go" is liberating. This may save your relationship and may revitalize your sex life. Sex is mean to be the force that brings lovers together not push them apart with boredom.

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